


And now for something different

by Serahne



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Killing Game, I think I gave Shuichi Michael (from Be More Chill)'s personality, I'm not sure what do about it, Kokichi is still a prankster, M/M, Maki isn't an assassin though, Shuichi is still a detective
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-09
Updated: 2017-11-14
Packaged: 2019-01-31 05:55:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12675753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Serahne/pseuds/Serahne
Summary: “Who is he ?”Maki shakes her head in annoyance.“A walking, breathing headache if you want my opinion.”





	1. One

“That’s it, Shuichi, I’m taking you out tonight !”

Kaito’s boisterous voice makes him raise his eyes from the oily fallafel that a grumpy-looking waitress dumped in his plate ten minutes ago. This is the last time he lets his friend pick the place for their weekly lunch.

“Taking me out ?” He repeats. “I hope you mean it in the sense that you are going to kill me. Not that you are dragging me to another nightclub. Kaito, you saw what happened last time. I’ll never be able to watch the discovery channel the same way, thanks for that.”

“Yeah, well” Kaito shrugs his trauma off. “How was I supposed to know it was a theme night ? You are really sweating the small stuff here, bro !”

“Right.”

Shuichi gives up on his food and pushes his plate toward Kaito, who only seems too happy to engulf another greasy abomination.

“By the way” Kaito keeps going between two bites “I wasn’t planning to go back there. It’s Maki Roll’s friend -”

“Maki has friends ?” Shuichi asks, half-serious.

The other points his chopsticks in his direction.

“Believe it or not, some people are able to see what a great person she is. Anyway, her friend, Kaede. We were together back in High School, remember ? Well, she invited us to her party. I promise you that no one will be dressed as an animal.” He wiggles his eyebrows a little “Except if you count human beings as animals and…”

“Okay, okay” Shuichi cuts him off. “Are you telling me that Kaede Akamatsu invited me to her party ?”

Kaito nods.

“Sure. She likes you, you know.”

“Kaito. I think the most words I exchanged with her was in second year, when her phone was discharged and she needed to borrow mine ! We don’t know each others !”

He glosses over the fact that he dragged a crush for the pretty pianist for the three year they spent in the same class. A hopeless one, of course, one that he never even dreamed of seeing reciprocated. She was just so bright and hopeful and positive and way too good for a guy who had troubles watching other people in the eyes.

“Well she doesn’t _not_ like you” the other says triumphantly. “Come on, bro. Kaede invited Maki who invited me who is now inviting you. This is legit. Everyone does that, and Kaede won’t mind. She is a cool chick.”

Shuichi opens his mouth to say something, but he is interrupted by the waitress who is still in a terrible mood ( Shuichi can’t help but offer her a compassionate smile that she doesn’t return ) and picks up their plates as soon as possible before going back to the kitchen. Kaito gives her an appraising look.

“Do you think she likes me ?” He asks out loud. Then he lowers his voice in a conspiratorial tone. “Don’t tell Maki Roll about that. I don’t want her to get jealous.”

Yeah, right. Shuichi rolls his eyes.

“Whatever” he replies. “I’m _not_ going anywhere tonight.”

“Shuichi ! I’m sorry to say that but my grandma has a more interesting life than you. When was the last time you did something that wasn’t working for your uncle, reading books, or eating lunch with me and Maki ?” He sighs dramatically. “How are you even going to find a nice girl for yourself ?”

Shuichi bites his tongue instead of reminding Kaito that himself doesn’t seem that interested in ‘nice’ girls either. His friend has a point. Shuichi’s social life is deader than it could ever be. He is just not that good at making friends. Or talking to people, really. Sometimes he wonders how miserable he would be if Kaito hadn’t decided one day to be his partner in a class project, praising his intelligence and dumping on him the entirety of the workload in one breath.

Then he had told Shuichi that he could do the oral presentation if that was easier for him. And they have been friends since them.

“I don’t want to be in a room full of people I don’t know” he pleads. “You are going to be busy being your usual social self and I’m just going to sit on a chair and wait for the time to pass until it’s late enough to go back home.”

Kaito puts a hand on his shoulder, a serious look on his face.

“Listen, Shuichi. I promise that I’ll make sure to introduce you to people. I’m not saying that you are going to end the day with a full list of new numbers in your phone, but if you just talk to people, you’ll see that they aren’t scary - well, most of them, anyway.”

Shuichi feels himself falters under Kaito’s gaze. What is the worst that could happen ? Skulking around for a couple of hours lost in the middle of people that don’t even notice he is here ? As if it was something new for him.

“Okay” he relents. “But I’m taking a book just in case it’s awful.”

Kaito laughs and pats his shoulder.

“That’s the spirit !”

*

That’s a terrible idea. Anxiety weighs heavier and heavier on Shuichi while he climbs up the stairs leading to Kaede’s house. He can hear music and screams coming from the inside of the house, but he can also see some people wandering around the gardens : it’s the beginning of summer, and the weather is nice enough that they can stay outside after sunset despite their short-sleeves and bare legs.

“So what do you think ?” Kaito says, all smile. “Pretty nice, uh ? And no one disguised as an animal.”

“Hmm” He replies, noncommittal.

Kaito knocks on the door, and despite Shuichi’s guess that the music inside is way too loud for them to be heard, it opens a few seconds later to reveal Kaede Akamatsu, her long blond-hair that she had in high-school now cut at chin length, and still just as stunning as she was then.

“Hey !” She greets them, and Shuichi is glad that she isn’t asking him to talk, because he needs a few seconds to realize that his teenage crush is right there in front of him. “Kaito, right ? Maki told me you might be here, I’m glad you could make it. And uh… it’s your friend ?”

“Yeah, Shuichi !” He hits him behind the head. “He was in our class in High School, too.”

Kaede smiles at him.

“That’s so nice. I hope you’ll have fun tonight, there are so many people I haven’t seen in a long time. I guess that’s what summer is all about, right ?”

She laughs, and so does Kaito, and Shuichi spends a few seconds wondering if he should laugh too, but then that would be weird to just laugh after everyone else.

“Sure thing” Kaito replies, giving her a thumb up. “See you later, Kaede !”

And then there are in, Kaito guiding him through the buzzing crowd with a hand on his back until they reach a quieter spot. Shuichi feels like he is going to throw up, and Kaito stops paying him any mind as soon as a pair of black pigtails appears in front of him.

“Hey Maki Roll !” Kaito says, moving closer to the quiet. “You are super pretty tonight !”

The blush on her cheeks is barely visible, but the fact that it’s there surprises Shuichi : maybe Kaito’s bragging about how she is totally into him isn’t as far off as he suspected. Still, she offers them an exasperated look.

“Don’t you have someone else to bother ?” She sighs, before turning toward Shuichi. “Did he force you to come here ?”

“Uh” Shuichi says.

“Figures. He is the most inconsiderate guy I’ve ever met.”

Kaito doesn’t seem very happy with where the conversation is going.

“Hey, guys, don’t insult me when I’m here, okay ?” He smiles at Maki, who frowns in return, as to balance his sudden happiness. “And I brought Shuichi here to find him a nice girl ! Do you know anyone here that our good friend could try to talk to ?”

Maki raises an eyebrow in disbelief, but then her gaze wanders through the room, and stops anytime she finds someone she knows.

“… Tenko would kill you… Miu would kill you… “ she mutters for herself. “Angie is nice but…” she throws a glance at Shuichi. “Yeah, she would kill you too.”

Shuichi shudders at how serious she sounds, but then Maki sees something ( or someone ) and freezes, eyes narrowed and angry.

“What is he doing here ?” She spits, poison in her voice.

Shuichi follows her icy glare. At the end of it, a smiling teenager, dressed all in white except for a checkered scarf, is chatting animatedly with a group of people. He observes him a few seconds, wondering what Maki is so upset for, but doesn’t find an answer.

“Who is he ?”

Maki shakes her head in annoyance.

“A walking, breathing headache if you want my opinion.” She frowns. “Anyway, not that this meeting wasn’t nice, but I’m going to see how Kaede is doing at the door, so…”

“Wait !” Kaito interjects. “What about Shuichi’s situation ? You can’t let him hanging like that.”

“I really couldn’t care less about Shuichi’s love life” she says. And then to Shuichi : “No offense.”

“None taken.” He assures her.

His answer earns him the first real smile on Maki’s lips since they found her, and he realizes that she is actually someone he wouldn’t be mind being friend with. Though, as always, he isn’t the kind of person who takes the first step. And Maki doesn’t seem to be the kind either. And that’s the problem of his life, isn’t it ? He can’t keep up with people like Kaito, and he can’t bring himself to seek the company of people like him. It’s a dead-end, no matter how you look at it.

Kaito watches Maki walk away, a thoughtful look on his face, and then seems to remember why he dragged his friend in this place for it’s almost like a light switches on inside him.

“So, Shuichi” he says, back to his usual self “Let’s find you the perfect girl !”

*

Shuichi takes back whatever thought he had at the beginning of the evening : this is not _just_ a terrible idea, this is the _worst_ idea that Kaito ever had. He is dragged endlessly around the room, introduced to beautiful, friendly girls he has nothing to talk with and whose he forgets the name as soon as his friend find another one. None of these girls are the problem. He is. Each time, this goes more or less well until Kaito leaves them to offer them a chance to have a private discussion. Then it crashes and burns and Shuichi just wants to run away.

He takes refuge near the buffet, where he can drink and eat and pretend to be busy until Kaito comes to find him for another show. That’s not what he is after, he thinks. He isn’t interested in meeting half of the people here. If there was just one person he could feel comfortable here…

“You need to taste this one, Rantaro !” an excited voice says a few feet away from him.

He turns his head to see _that_ guy, the one Maki doesn’t like at all, busying himself with… the tasting of any food on the table ? He enthusiastically describes everything he puts in his mouth to a green-haired boy next to him, who doesn’t do much beside trying the food the other puts in front of his mouth when he finds one he really likes.

The whole scene is pretty ridiculous, since the food the teenager is tasting can just as well be plain potato chips from a common brand than homemade brownies. And yet Shuichi can’t really find the strength to make fun of him, even only in his head : these two are enjoying themselves, that’s more than it can be said for him.

Suddenly, as if he could feel Shuichi’s persistent gaze on him, he turns toward him, a curious expression on his face and an already-bitten mini-pizza in his hand. He blinks, and Shuichi can feel his cheeks burn. That was rude on his part to stare, wasn’t it ? Quickly, he focuses on the food, praying for the two guys to just ignore him and go away.

“Oh my beloved Rantaro, maybe you could go find someone you actually like spending time with ?” He hears the boy with the checkered scarf say, biting irony in his voice.

The other doesn’t fight him on his suggestion too much.

“Sure, have fun. Don’t forget that I’m leaving at 2, if I can’t find you then, you’ll walk, okay ?” He warns. “Tries to not do something stupid.”

“Nishishi, I promise I won’t do anything you wouldn’t do yourself !”

After that, there is a few seconds of silence where Shuichi hears his blood beating inside his head and he isn’t even sure if he is scared or hopeful or confused or everything at once. He almost jumps when he feels a finger stab him in his ribs. When he turns around by reflex, he is surprised by how close the other is. Close enough for Shuichi to note that the purple glints he thought he could see on his hair weren’t the result of poor lightning. It is subtle, but the boy really has purple hair.

“Hey !” He says with a smile so bright it’s eating up half of his face. “You check me out and then you ignore me like that ? Rude !”

Shuichi’s eyes widen. He takes a step back, trying to put some distance between them.

“Checking you out ?” He repeats. “No, I was just… listening to your conversation ? Which… actually seems even more rude. Sorry.”

The boy tilts his head on the side.

“Uh ? You think I care about you listening to my judgement on this party’s gastronomy ? Nu-uh, at least you were paying attention. Rantaro doesn’t get how crucial this task is, unfortunately.”

“Really ? … How is that important ?”

Suddenly, the purple-haired boy starts laughing.

“Nishishi, sorry, it was a lie ! I was just bored and I wanted to pretend I was one of these judges on TV who can treat people like vermins just because they have all the money and all the recognition. Can you blame me ?”

“Hm” Shuichi says, not sure how to replies to that. “But does that make any sense to do that with… potato chips ?”

“Wow, you were really paying attention, weren’t you ?” The other says, delighted. “Really, it doesn’t matter. You just have to say things like ‘this could use a more parsimonious seasoning’ or ‘I do think it should be dressed with some balsamic vinegar’. See ? Easy peasy as they say !”

Despite himself, Shuichi chuckles a little at how serious the other is on this question. He is also a little curious : sure, he only exchanged a few words with him, but he still can’t see why Maki would single him out and call him a ‘walking, breathing headache’. He is… weird, that much is true, but he doesn’t seem particularly mean spirited.

“Soooooo” the boy says after a few more seconds where they both fell silent again. “Who are you, suspicious stalker ?”

“I’m not suspicious and I’m not a stalker” Shuichi replies. “I’m Shuichi Saihara. I’m here with Kaito Momota.”

“Wow, two names I really don’t care about. Is that supposed to ring a bell or something ? Why do people give their name when they are asked who they are ? Isn’t that weird ? How would a name be an answer ? I’ll ask Kiyo when I see him ! “What’s a name ?””

“What’s in a name ?” Shuichi replies without thinking, as a memory comes back to him. “That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”

The boy gives him a little round of applause for his trouble

“Eh, _Shakespeare_? Are you trying to pretend you are an intellectual or did you just look up this quote on the internet before coming here, hum ?” He laughs again. “So Shuichi Saihara, now that I know your name, care to tell me what’s your smell ?”

“Ah, I…” he racks his brain, trying to find something to say. It’s troubling to have someone’s undivided attention like that. Even when he spends time with Kaito, his friend is always distracted by the first shiny object he sees. “I’m a detective.”

That answer does seem to surprise the purple-haired boy.

“Really ?” he says. “You don’t look like a detective… hum… so do you investigate people ? It’s what a detective do, riiight ?”

Shuichi nods tentatively. That’s technically what his job is about, but the malicious expression on the other’s face pushes him to be prudent. Almost more than Maki’s warning about him. And yet this is the first conversation he had that night that isn’t going immediately to Awkward Silence Land. And sure, that’s also because the other boy seems happy to be talking for the two of them.

“Great !” he says once he got his confirmation. “So let’s play a game, alright ? Investigate me !”

“What ?”

“Investigate me !” He repeats, over-excited. “Let’s see if you’re good enough at your job to figure me out, okay. Whatever info you find on me by the end of the night, it’s a proof that you are actually not a fraud. What do you think ?”

“Uh…”

“Come on, Shuichi Saihara. I’m bored to death. Entertain me, entertain me now, dammit !” He taps his foot in a commanding manner on the floor to punctuate his sentence. It’s all very dramatic.

Shuichi feels a little light-headed. He isn’t sure what the other is asking of him. Sure, he investigates people but…

“I don’t talk to people I investigate, most of the time” he replies. “I just… look at them ? When they interact with others, mostly ?”

He doesn’t really want to go on about how most of the cases he takes care of are sorrowful spouses looking for a confirmation that their husband is cheating on them. All he needs to do is to snap a few pictures and to make sure that there is nothing in the office that could be used as a weapon in a fit or rage when he announces them the truth.

The truth sucks, most of the time. He is always surprised that people are so insistent on finding it.

The purple-haired boy taps his index against his lips, thoughtful.

“Other people ?” He smiles. “Nishishi, okay, Shuichi Saihara, we’re doing it !”

“Ah… Shuichi is fine.” He mutters.

“Sure, whatever, _Shuichi_ ” He says, and suddenly his name sounds a lot less like a joke between this guy’s lips. “You have three hours to investigate me while I’m talking to other people. Is the game on ?”

Shuichi opens his mouth, then closes it, so confused by everything that just fell on him in a few minutes. But then… he doesn’t feel crushed by anxiety again. And he can just have fun playing ‘investigation’ with this boy until Kaito decides to put him out of his misery.

He nods. The smile he receives in return makes him a little dizzy


	2. Two

“This girl was a fucking slut’’ yells Miu Iruma, so loud that she wobbles a little before looking angrily at the glass full of a fluorescent liquid that she is holding.

 

Shuichi didn’t ask what was in it, and one part of him is glad for that. He is pretty sure that’s not something Kaede would approve of, either, but Miu made sure to tell them that she wouldn’t be satisfied with the ‘drinks for virgins’ that their hostess prepared.

 

“Not a slut as big as you, I’m sure” Shuichi’s new friend laughs in return.

 

“You bet !” Miu replies proudly.

 

Shuichi makes note for the thousandth times since he has known the purple-haired boy ( that is to say approximately two hours ) that this is the most ridiculous conversation he ever took part in. Well… ‘took part in’. It’s not like he said anything to the boisterous girl beside a quiet ‘good evening’ that she didn’t even bother returning. But then, his role is to watch the other boy when he is talking to her, not to try and make friend with her.

 

As soon as he accepted the boy’s offer, Shuichi feels like he has been put into a never-ending rollercoaster, where he is dragged from person to person, to be the sole audience of the mischievous boy’s show.

 

The boy is a liar. This, in itself, is not a surprise, nor the fact that he is good at that - he never messes up his story, sticks to it and never backs down, no matter how suspicious the person he is talking to can be. What’s surprising, though, is _how prolific_ he is.

 

He is an adventurer, a prince, a tourist, a politician, a student in law, a humanitarian. He travelled all other the world, in Europe and in America, and even in Antarctica and he speaks all the - made up - languages one could want. He has two cats, or twenty turtles, he climbed the Himalaya and saved a dog from being rolled over by a train two days ago. He loves pizza and then hates it, he tends to be sick a lot since he is child, and then he knows everything about sport. He has so, so many names, that Shuichi wonders if he keeps a list somewhere, just in case, under his mattress, and repeats them to himself every night until he remembers them in order.

 

Between two performances, when they stop by the buffet so the strange boy can eat his weight in chips, and Shuichi can breath a little, Shuichi asks him what’s his real name is. He half-expects a lie, but the other just laughs, and then puts himself on the tip of his toes to whispers inside his ear :

 

“I’ll tell you if you do a good job investigating me.”

 

He wonders for one second if the boy is trying to flirt with him - Shuichi is terrible at being flirted with, to be honest. But the other doesn’t seem to care about a gesture on his part, for he already grabbed the sleeve of Shuichi’s shirt and is already looking for a new target.

 

They end up talking to the three girls Maki warned Shuichi about, and while they are strange, they don’t make a move to murder him either. Angie is the weirdest, all smile and creepy vibes and swallowing all of the boy’s lies as if it was strawberry milk. Tenko is funny and straight-forward, and while she seems suspicious of them, she believes the purple-haired boy way too easily. But as soon as he tells her that she ‘shouldn’t be that hard to get when [she’s] already so hard to want’ (sic), he quickly dodges the punch thrown in his direction and runs away, pulling Shuichi with him so he wouldn’t be eviscerated by the fulminating Aikido master. At this point of their little game, Shuichi almost feels like he is high and he does his best to not burst into a fit of laughter during their miraculous escape.

 

He learns quickly enough that the other boy doesn’t care if he is believed or not - Miu Iruma throws back to his face every lie he has been telling her and he still seems to have the time of his day insulting her in a more or less subtle way. While the two are talking, Shuichi sees Kaito on the other side of room, who is giving him a thumb up, glad to see that his favorite sidekick is starting to get out of his shell.

 

He smiles back, hesitantly, thinking that Kaito probably wouldn’t understand that this is not what’s going on all.

 

“Hey, stupid virgin ! How dare you ignoring me ?” Miu’s voice reaches him and brings him back to his own situation.

 

The boy with a checkered scarf giggles.

 

“Come, Shuichi, don’t be shy” he says with his usual shit-eating grin “I was only telling her about our endless passion for each other.”

 

“Oh… hum, yeah, great” Shuichi replies, not liking the light in the rude girl’s eyes one bit. “We are very in love. I’m just not the best at showing it in public.”

 

It’s not the first time he has a place in one of the boy’s story : he has been his brother, his cousin, his best friend, an amnesic soul that he found at the park and is now taking care of because he is just nice like that, and… yes, he has been his boyfriend a few times, too. That could be embarrassing, but since Shuichi doesn’t have anything to say or do, he just lets the other go with that. He takes a sip of the sugary soda he has been nursing for thirty minutes : it’s gross, but it’s the only non-alcoholic thing he managed to get his hands on.

 

“Tch” Miu sighs, dismissive. “Love is great and all, but giving up the throne for that twink ? You aren’t that smart, are you ?”

 

“Heeeh, you don’t understand” The boy says with a matter-of-fact tone. “Love has nothing to do with it, but how am I supposed to give up on a lover that manages to give me four orgasms in one night with only his tongue ?”

 

Shuichi chokes on his drink and he winces when the sparkling liquid comes out through his nostrils and splashes on his chin, clothes, and the carpet of Kaede’s living-room, too. _Shit_ , _that hurts_ , he thinks, the pain replacing the surprise and humiliation in his mind for a second.

 

“Jeez, if you don’t know how to drink, then don’t, you pea-brain.” Miu snarks. “But maybe you like being covered in…”

 

Fortunately the lying boy cuts her off before more inappropriate things can crawl out of her mouth.

 

“I think the love of my life needs me to lick him off ! See you later, you bitch !” He says happily, directing a still-blurry-eyes Shuichi toward the bathroom.

 

*

 

“You’re insane” Shuichi says when they reach the bathroom.

 

He starts washing up his face - nothing to do about his clothes, unfortunately. He thinks he could go and gets his coat upstair and hide the pink-ish stain, but it’s very late and no one cares about someone having a soda stain. _He_ doesn’t even care.

 

The other boy blocks the bathroom’s door by sitting in front of it.

 

“Nishishi, is that the result of your investigation, Shuichi ? Because I have to say, that’s veeeery disappointing.”

 

Shuichi looks at the other’s face, and wonders if that’s his imagination, but he looks just a _tad_ different away from the crowd. The detective can’t pinpoint _what_ is different exactly, this is almost invisible, something in the atmosphere surrounding him.

 

“That’s just objective observation” he mumbles, then lets out a whine when he accidentally touches his - still tender - nose. “A head up would have been nice. I can’t feel my face, now.” He sighs.

 

“If you don’t know how to drink then don’t !” is the reply he gets, the purple-haired boy waving his finger imperially, in a terrible imitation of Miu. “Come on, Shuichi Saihara, wasn’t it fun ? I was amazing, right ? All fun and entertaining, and all that just for you !”

 

Despite himself, Shuichi feels his anger melts a little when confronted with the other’s enthusiasm. He had known the boy was trouble from the start, after all.

 

“Shuichi is fine” he replies, looking at the other boy through the mirror.

 

He seems pleased with himself.

 

“All right-y then ! It’s almost two, and I have to find where Rantaro is before he leaves me here - can you believe that he is supposed to be my friend ? Which friend would just leave you behind like that ?” he sighs dramatically.

 

Shuichi doesn’t know what to say. He knows Kaito would never leave him behind, anyway, even if he had to search for him for hours. But the boy doesn’t seem that upset either, and who is he to have a say in a relationship he knows nothing about ?

 

“Yeah, I guess so” he says. “It was… a very interesting night ?”

 

The other glows.

 

“I hope so ! I did my best to give you everything you would need for investigating me ! So, so, so ? Tell me Shuichi, tell me what you learnt about me ?”

 

Shuichi blinks and looks at the boy of the floor. His smile is still wide and appealing, but there is something cold behind his eyes - a challenge, maybe. He feels his mouths becomes dry. The truth is… beside the fact that the other boy is a true chameleon, and that he plays people like no one else Shuichi ever met… he didn’t learn anything. Just like he wouldn’t know anything about an actor, even after watching a five-hours movie where he stars as the main character.

 

“You are…” he says. “You are…”

 

The other waits eagerly, still, but ready to strike at Shuichi’s first words.

 

“A hurricane.” He ends up saying. “A typhoon.”

 

The boy’s eyes widen for a second before he bursts into a fit of laughter. It’s a big one : he is bend in two, holding his stomach, and Shuichi can see tears on the corner of his eyes. He feels a blush creeping on his face, and he isn’t sure how he is supposed to react to this sudden hilarity.

 

“Was it that ridiculous ?” he says.

 

“Oh, absolutely !” the boy says, wiping his tears. “But it’s okay, you are pretty ridiculous yourself, you know ? Hum, a typhoon ? How romantic !” he laughs again, and Shuichi is so lost. “I hoped that maybe I could be the King of your Heart (1), but you are way too nice, aren’t you ?”

 

“What ?” asks Shuichi.

 

The other doesn’t reply.

 

“Aaanyway” he says, after he completely sobered up. “Flirting with me will get you anywhere, but I can’t believe you think it’s a serious answer ! Hey, do you think I’ve played the Manic Pixie Dream Boy all night just for your entertainment ? I really thought you were a detective. Man, what a disappointment.”

 

He sighs, shaking his head sadly. That doesn’t last, and his mood quickly shifts.

 

“Oh, well, it’s not like I expected you to work out anything, you know ?” He says, arms behind his head. “For all that’s worth, it was a fun night, but I would get bored super fast of someone like you, so don’t expect it to become a habit, okay ? You need to make real friends at some point !”

 

He stands up, ready to leave, and Shuichi feels the urge to stop him, to prove him that he managed to find things about him, that he is up to the challenge. Except that’s stupid : he doesn’t even know this boy’s name, they met and spend some times together, he doesn’t owe him anything, and anyway he didn’t give him anything to work with. Yes, Shuichi is a detective : he follows hints and gather clues, but they need to exist first. And this boy made sure to let nothing escape… so how could he have...

 

And then it strikes him like a lightning.

 

“Wait !” he says.

 

The boy stills, his hand on the door’s handle, and turns curious eyes toward him.

 

“Hum ? Do you need something el-”

 

“Maki Harukawa” Shuichi says.

 

He isn’t sure what he expects, but the other’s reaction is underwhelming. He cocks his head on the side, questioning. Shuichi would think he is on the wrong path, that Maki just mistook this boy for another one - she saw him from afar, after all - but something tells him that the purple-haired teenager wouldn’t let this confused expression pass through if it was a genuine one.

 

“More names ?” He says. “Should I care about this one ? I wonder. It’s a girl name, too, I can’t even use it for my little stories. Though, maybe I’m talking too fast” He looks at himself with attention before focusing on Shuichi again. “Hey, do you think I could pass off as a girl ? I would be a flat girl but…”

 

“Listen” Shuichi says “Maki Harukawa is one of my friends and she said…”

 

“Damn, you have _friends_ , Shuichi ? Why did you even spend the evening with me ? That doesn’t make any sense” He replies, mocking him.

 

Shuichi narrows his eyes. Okay, now he is sure that the boy is trying to derail the subject. His hands are shaking a bit so he grips the edge of the sink to give himself some strength. Truth is, he doesn’t know much about Maki Harukawa. She is a very discreet person, but…

 

“She said she knew you.” He thinks out loud. “That she had met you before. She doesn’t like you at all, which is strange now that I think about it. She isn’t very sociable, but she isn’t the kind to keep a grudge either. So she was probably forced to interact with you, right ?”

 

“Duh, what do you think ?” The other rolls his eyes. “Of course I know her we were in the same class, remember ? Why do you think I’m here ? Because Kaede invited me, just like you. Jeez, you’re so slow, it must be hard on your parents.”

 

Against his will, Shuichi feels the corner of his mouths turn in a smile. _Got you_ , he thinks.

 

“Except Maki was never in our High School. She and Kaede met when Kaede came to play piano in the orphanage she grew up in.”

 

The boy blinks before turning his head away from Shuichi.

 

“Beautiful story, but what does it have to do with me ?”

 

“Well, if Maki knows you and if it isn’t from school, then where does she know you from ?” The boys doesn’t answer, and Shuichi can’t help but feel some pride thinking that he did it. He passed the exam. “Were you” he tries. “Were you at the orphanage with her ? … Did you grow up there ?”

 

The boy sighs and finally meets Shuichi’s eyes again. He is _glaring_ at him.

 

“I liked your first guess more, even if it was ridiculous. This one is so boring, _ugh_.”

 

“In my experience” Shuichi says. “Truth is often boring.”

 

“Which is why it sucks, right ?” The other is displaying such overt hostility, that Shuichi takes a step back. “I don’t get how someone like you can’t be depressed to hell. Is that what you’re into, Shuichi ? Throwing the truth at people’s face, telling them that everything proves that their parents are piece of shits that abandoned them, and why should they try to deny it, right ?”

 

“What ?” The detective says, taken aback. “Wait, no, what are you saying ? You _asked_ me to investigate you, how can you be angry that I found something !”

 

“ _Because you cheated !_ ” he spits back. “You received help from other people. How incompetent are you, exactly ?”

 

Shuichi feels a quiet anger rages inside his stomach. So that’s where it’s going, uh ? He should have known. Someone who enjoys lies so much… he is just like most of his uncle’s clients, smiling people who are oh-so-sure they want to know the truth, but then starts to scream and cries when they got it, and curses it. These people aren’t after the truth, because the boy is right : truth sucks. Always. All the time. It’s never good or bad enough, and it’s never what we expect.

 

But that’s what he does, okay. And sure, this random teenager doesn’t have to enjoy it, or even to respect it, but he has the unpleasant feeling that he has been treated like an idiot during this whole evening.

 

And he doesn’t need people in his life to think he is an incompetent idiot, thank you. He does that well enough by himself.

 

“You’re full of shit” he says, surprised by his own rudeness - but then, he wonders if he would be just as rude toward his uncle’s clients if they weren’t paying him. His anger is threatening to overwhelm him, and he doesn’t want to start crying or stuttering in front of this guy “You are an hypocrite.”

 

“Oh, am I ?” The other laughs, without any warmth in it. “Nishishi ! And I thought I was a hurricane. Now we are getting somewhere, detective ! Have a good night !”

 

After that, he opens the door with a last sarcastic glance, and he is gone.

 

Shuichi needs a few minutes to put himself back together, and thinks that it’s such a shame the evening ended that way.

 

Because he was having fun, before.

 

He really was.

 

*

 

He barely takes a step outside the bathroom that he feels a large hand hit him on the back.

 

“Shuichi, Maki Roll is gone, and I’m starting to get tired. Wanna head back ? I got your coat already” Kaito says, unaware of his inner turmoil. “How was your night ? Are you turning into a social being yet ?”

 

“It’s still in progress” he replies, his annoyance fading away around his best friend. “And yes, we can go back, thanks.”

 

He gladly accepts his coat and wraps it around his body, finally covering the soda stain that he had almost forgotten about. He slips his hand inside his pockets and…

 

_Uh ? What’s that ?_

 

His fingers touch a piece of paper that definitely wasn’t there before and he slowly takes it out to find out that the piece is folded in four. Making sure that Kaito isn’t looking his way, he opens it.

 

_Shuichi ~~Saihara~~ , _

 

_Thanks for the fun evening, and congrats on convincing me that you are a true detective ! I could definitely use someone like you !_

 

_Call me : 0422-XXX XXX_

 

_And because I promised you and I never lie,_

 

_Signed : Kokichi Ouma :) <3 _

 

_( You could have asked for any other prize, but you seem to really like useless names, so enjoy this one ! )_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (1) I'm very proud of this reference, and the fact that so many people won't get it makes me sad.
> 
> I might do a sequel of it... who knows ? There are a few things I couldn't put in this chapter but that I have more or less already written in my head.


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